More on American coffee

Guys, you had it coming!

Although my earlier ethnological inquiry into the social patterns of American coffee drinking resulted in the realisation that Jim Jarmusch's repeated representation of Americans clinking coffee cups is a pure product of his deranged fantasy, the comments received so far remind me of another dear American cliché: Coffee! (The previous sentence indisputably originated in a German thinking mind ... sorry!)

The commentators expressed their concern over drinking too much coffee. Well, I think I can reassure them by saying that this habit can cause bad teeth at worst, since American coffee (with the notable exclusion of Starbucks etc) invariably has the taste and texture of heated diet Pepsi! The other day, I was served "coffee" at a formal dinner in Denver, and I could literally see the bottom of the cup! So, drinking a lot of that stuff won't do you more harm than drinking water. Or, as Marianne Sägebrecht put it so succinctly in Paris, Texas: "Dis is no koofe, dis is braun wota!"

In order to re-establish my balanced approach towards things and to rebut the allegation of Anti-Americanism, audiatur et altera pars, represented by Mark Twain:

"Recipe for German Coffee
    Take a barrel of water and bring it to a boil; rub a chicory berry against a coffee berry, then convey the former into the water. Continue the boiling and evaporation until the intensity of the flavor and aroma of the coffee and chicory has been diminished to a proper degree; then set aside to cool. Now unharness the remains of a once cow from the plow, insert them in a hydraulic press, and when you shall have acquired a teaspoon of that pale-blue juice which a German superstition regards as milk, modify the malignity of its strength in a bucket of tepid water and ring up the breakfast. Mix the beverage in a cold cup, partake with moderation, and keep a wet rag around your head to guard against over-excitement."


Byron said...

Coffee--I don't drink it, so it's not a problem. Tap water, anyone?

Kirk said...

That's definitely true about most American coffee, which is why Starbucks and others are so successful--even though people complain about it being a corporate behemoth, the fact is you can generally get a decent cup of coffee at Starbucks (not to mention lots of other small independent coffeehouses). But in general coffee in the States is pretty bleak--like many things in the States, quantity is valued more than quality. Not that I'm overwhelmed by Swiss coffee either, for entirely different reasons, but that's a story for another time on our blog...

Chris said...

Kirk, you've got me curious about your retribution on Swiss coffee - follow up soon, please!

As for tap water: my point exactly! ;-)